Soulfood

Scripture is internally consistent. So what do we make of Psalm 88’s statement that “Darkness is my only friend”?

Psalm 88 is a prayer – so that statement is spoken to God. We can bring that kind of heartache to God. God is sympathetic towards the lonely sickness that is so thick in depression. This psalm invites us to reach out to Him in the darkness. So how do we draw near to God in the suffering and sins of depression?

Emotions are confusing. We are not powerless to control our emotions. But we do not have control over them the way we do over the movements of our limbs. We can disagree with our emotions, which indicates we don’t have direct control over them. (Psalm 42 “why are you downcast, oh my soul?”) Sometimes we have no idea why we are feeling the way we feel. We can work to change them, but we have no guarantees that doing the right things will give us the emotional outcome we desire. We can, though, learn to listen to our emotions even when we don’t agree with them. This takes time. We have to slow down. Reflect. Ask the Psalm 42 question.

Emotions are not inherently good or inherently bad. All emotions can work for or against God’s purposes in our lives. Even the down feeling we experience is not always wrong. Emotions can be pleasant or unpleasant. Pleasant emotions are not always pleasing to God. Unpleasant emotions can be very God-honoring (e.g. weep with those who weep). Emotions are *a* window but not the only window into our spiritual well-being. By God’s grace, we are capable of growth even when we don’t have direct control over our unpleasant emotions. We can have a good, God-honoring day on days when we feel depressed.

Even if we *could* eradicate depression from all human experience, we *should* not. What virtues can only be expressed (or at least be expressed better) because of our ability to experience unpleasant emotions? When is it Christlike to experience emotions like depression?

(Powlison questions: What’s good? What’s hard? What’s bad?)

Anxiety is complementary to compassion. Compassionate people are able to place themselves into the experiences of others – to envision and live experiences they haven’t personally experienced. But being able to do this also opens them to picturing themselves in unpleasant situations which leads to fearfulness about the future.

Jesus has identified with us (Hebrews 4) such that he has sympathy and compassion for us in our sorrows and depressions. Jesus was sorrowful and oppressed and yet without sin.

Philippians 4:4 (Rejoice in the Lord always) does not negate Matthew 5:4 (Blessed are those who mourn). And Matthew 11:28 is always available. When we are weary, overwhelmed by the world, Jesus calls us to come to him. God does not command His people perpetually to live on the positive/pleasant end of the emotional spectrum. Not all that isn’t good is necessarily bad. There are also hard things, and in these things we don’t always need forgiveness but instead we need comfort.

Being sad is not a sin. We can sin in our sadness. We can sin in our loneliness. But sadness and loneliness are not sinful. Sometimes in our sadness and loneliness we need forgiveness for our sins. And sometimes we need comfort and assurance.

When does depression become sinful? And when is it a byproduct of sin in our lives? When we entrench a belief that God is not good, that is sin. When depression leads us to try to control our circumstances, it is sin. When it is rooted in bitterness, greed, jealousy, then it is sin. When it is rooted in entitlement or comparison to others, it is sin.

It can be a result of sins of omission, a sense of helplessness, or passivity. It can result from destructive habits that are used to escape from life. It can result from self-centeredness.

When sin is present in depression, what is God’s primary concern? God is concerned with my freedom and flourishing in my sin. His desire is to free me from bondage. God is for me, not against me. He desires that I will let go of what is oppressing me, that I will repent and let Him work in me. Repentance is freedom and liberation!

When depression is revealing sin, repentance is part of relinquishing agency to fix myself.

When depression is about suffering, God is with me as I lament (not repent).

5 implications:

1. Being every emotion to God. Direction is the most important part of emotion. Reflexes reveal worship. Where do I turn when things in my soul are off?
2. The freedom of point 1 allows us to interview our emotions (Psalm 42). What is my depression saying?
3. Don’t just “manage” your emotions, learn from them. Progressive sanctification is practicing healthy holiness. God is patient.
4. Be a 3-basket person – figure out what is good, what is hard, and what is bad
5. The gospel speaks to sin and suffering but it speaks to them differently. The gospel invites sinners to repent. The gospel invites sufferers to lament.

The gospel offers freedom to sinners. The gospel offers meaning to sufferers.

Repent. Lament. Believe the gospel. God is with you!