Soulfood

Darby Strickland

How do we find rest in the aftermath of a relationship that (seems) irreconcilably ruptured? What do I do with all this hurt? How do I bear it?

True rest includes a sense of security and peace that comes from relying on God’s comfort and care because rest is relational.

Meditate on reasonableness (Philippians 4:5) – remember we are called to be known for our reasonableness, not our disorderly passions. We must take our disorderly passions to God so that we can be reasonable and have peace.

Some translations use the word “gentleness” instead of “reasonableness.” It does not mean that we stay silent or tolerate mistreatment. What does Paul mean by it? Reference Phil 2 – gentleness/reasonableness flows from humility. It is an aspect of having a servant’s heart. It is not about reasoning with others to show them how we are right and they are wrong. It is humble.

Reasonableness/gentleness does not accommodate evil (we are to shine as lights). We may have a rupture in a relationship, no matter how reasonable or gentle we are, because we cannot affirm immoral choices our friends, neighbors, and family members are making. We do not have to carry guilt for the rupture of relationships in which we have been gentle and reasonable in our interactions with those who refuse to turn from their sin.

Chapter 3 – reasonableness and gentleness do not require us to tolerate or ignore evil. But remember that the LORD is at hand. He is with us in our reasonableness and is close to us in the distress of relational turmoil that leads to permanent relational rupture.

Inability to be reconciled to one whom we love brings emotional turmoil and troubling doubts. Jesus came to reconcile us to God and to one another and to bring peace. What is wrong with me that I am not able to bring about peace in this relationship?

“…do not be anxious, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Pray! And give thanks. We must continually reorient ourselves to the truth of the gospel and the goodness of God. We must turn to God in prayer if we want to have peace. We cannot do it on our own. The peace that God gives us when we turn to him in prayer surpasses human understanding.

Psalm 118 – God’s love isn’t fickle. It is steadfast and dependable. When we are able to internalize the truth of God’s presence with us, care for us, advocacy for us, defense of us – in this we can have peace in the midst of my enemies.

When people I love are walking in darkness and rebellion in a way that divides us, I can remember I serve a God Who pursues sinners.

It is through Christ and in Christ that I have the strength to endure relational conflict. It is not my strength, but the Spirit of God tabernacling in me that enables me to endure.

We are not called to fight when we are under attack, embattled. We don’t need to defend ourselves and go on the offensive. Rather, we simply need to stand firm on the ground Jesus has already conquered. We don’t have to react or respond to slander, reviling, etc. but can wait on the LORD and trust Him not to lose the ground He has gained for us. This does not mean we do not suffer. But we take heart that we are sharing in Christ’s suffering, becoming like him in his death.

Because these sufferings are shared with Jesus, pain and peace can (and must) coexist. We have joy because we have Jesus.

When we are hurt by people in the church, we must remember that these are our brethren. While this may make the loss and pain feel even more acute, we know that in Christ we will be restored in the end.

Relational pain is an occasion to focus us on the one who can give us peace – Jesus Christ. He embraces us and kisses us and wraps us in his love when we turn to him.

Song: https://www.challies.com/resources/a-new-song-in-the-valley-bless-the-lord/