Soulfood

Vigilance and the Invitation to Vulnerability

Psalm 31:9-10 “Be gracious to me, O YHWH, for I am in distress; my eye is wasted from grief; my soul and body also. For my life is spent with sorrow, and my years with sighing; my strength fails because of my iniquity, and my bones waste away.”

Hyper-vigilance is a state of constant anxiety about the threats of the outside world.

Relational hyper-vigilance is an intense and pervasive watchfulness that seeks to assess potential relational harm that others might perpetrate: harm like betrayal, abandonment, and rejection. People struggling with this form of trauma response are quick to classify others as dangerous or toxic. They have learned to trust their distorted perceptions – which aren’t always wrong! Sometimes a person who has been abused is able to perceive danger that is actually there; and sometimes perceived danger that isn’t really present damages relationships that would otherwise be healthy.

When someone’s experience of others has been generally painful and abusive, it is not wrong for them to mistrust everyone. It is a hard work to help open the trauma sufferer to vulnerability. We must daily present to them the trustworthiness of God.

David suffered the trauma of betrayal and spent much of his early life running from enemies more powerful than he was. Psalm 32 gives us a view of David’s experience of others. He sees “terror on every side” as do other hyper-vigilant trauma sufferers.

But David takes his trauma and his hyper-vigilance to YHWH.

Psalm 31

Into Your Hand I Commit My Spirit

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.[1] In you, O LORD, do I take refuge; let me never be put to shame; in your righteousness deliver me! [2] Incline your ear to me; rescue me speedily! Be a rock of refuge for me, a strong fortress to save me! [3] For you are my rock and my fortress; and for your name’s sake you lead me and guide me; [4] you take me out of the net they have hidden for me, for you are my refuge. [5] Into your hand I commit my spirit; you have redeemed me, O LORD, faithful God. [6] I hate those who pay regard to worthless idols, but I trust in the LORD. [7] I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the distress of my soul, [8] and you have not delivered me into the hand of the enemy; you have set my feet in a broad place. [9] Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eye is wasted from grief; my soul and my body also. [10] For my life is spent with sorrow, and my years with sighing; my strength fails because of my iniquity, and my bones waste away. [11] Because of all my adversaries I have become a reproach, especially to my neighbors, and an object of dread to my acquaintances; those who see me in the street flee from me. [12] I have been forgotten like one who is dead; I have become like a broken vessel. [13] For I hear the whispering of many— terror on every side!— as they scheme together against me, as they plot to take my life. [14] But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, “You are my God.” [15] My times are in your hand; rescue me from the hand of my enemies and from my persecutors! [16] Make your face shine on your servant; save me in your steadfast love! [17] O LORD, let me not be put to shame, for I call upon you; let the wicked be put to shame; let them go silently to Sheol. [18] Let the lying lips be mute, which speak insolently against the righteous in pride and contempt. [19] Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you and worked for those who take refuge in you, in the sight of the children of mankind! [20] In the cover of your presence you hide them from the plots of men; you store them in your shelter from the strife of tongues. [21] Blessed be the LORD, for he has wondrously shown his steadfast love to me when I was in a besieged city. [22] I had said in my alarm, “I am cut off from your sight.” But you heard the voice of my pleas for mercy when I cried to you for help. [23] Love the LORD, all you his saints! The LORD preserves the faithful but abundantly repays the one who acts in pride. [24] Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD!

David invites YHWH to enter in to his terror and fear of betrayal – see his requests:

Let me never be put to shame (v. 1)

Rescue me speedily (v. 2)

Be a rock of refuge for me (v. 2)

Be gracious to me (v. 9)

Rescue me (v. 15)

Make your face shine upon me (v. 16)

Save me in your steadfast love (v. 16)

Let the wicked be put to shame and let them go silent to Sheol (v. 17)

Let the lying lips be mute (v. 18)

Trauma sufferers can struggle to trust God when their perceived (and actual) reality has been one in which God hasn’t seemed to hear and hasn’t rescued them speedily. We seek to direct their attention, as YHWH directed David’s attention, to His goodness, steadfast love, and faithfulness. We seek to help them see God’s heart for them.

When this reality of God’s love breaks through into the heart of a trauma sufferer, redemption and restoration can occur. Here is what David says of God in Psalm 31:

You are my rock and my fortress (v. 3)

You lead me and guide me (v. 3)

You are my refuge (v. 4)

You have redeemed me (v. 5)

You have seen my affliction and know my enemies (v. 7)

You have not delivered me to my enemy (v. 8)

You have set my feet in a broad place (v. 8)

You shelter your children (v. 20)

You heard the voice of my cries (v. 22)

You have preserved me (v. 23)

We are all desperately needy – none of us deserve the forgiveness we long for. But God is faithful! He protects the vulnerable and gives the weak his own strength. And as YHWH meets with David in Psalm 31, he is there as David vacillates. He will in no wise cast us out, even when we are fearful and hyper-vigilant.

God invites us to see him and he waits patiently as we keep struggling to come to him. It’s okay for it to take time. We ask God to gift the trauma sufferer the ability to see God’s love for him. We ask God to show himself as a rock of refuge to those who suffer from trauma.

We wait and hope, looking for God’s justice as we pray expectantly for him to show up.

Jesus knows what it is like to live with terrors on every side. And he knows what it is like to die with terror on every side. Then he quotes Psalm 31 – Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.