Soulfood

Esther Liu

Wisdom is becoming competent with regard to the realities of life

Competent people…know what they are doing, have understanding, are capable of doing what needs to be done. They have the answers or know where to look for them.

What do we do when we feel incompetent and inadequate?

Avoid the temptation to wish for or try to be “more this” or “less that.”

Wisdom doesn’t do away with our weakness, ignore our frailty, doesn’t ask us to be more or less than we are. Wisdom points us over and over to Jesus.

Question: Where do I doubt myself and where do I feel weak?

I feel I am not enough.

I don’t have enough time to meet with all of the people who look to me for counsel.

I am not sturdy enough to carry all the burdens of the people around me who count on me.

I am not firm enough to stand against temptations to self-pity, self-gratification, and self-justification.

I am not diligent enough to put into practice all that I know is right and good.

I am not focused enough to resist distractions that pull me away from the work I am called to do.

I am not holy enough to be righteously angry with sin in myself and others.

I am not courageous enough to speak truths that are unwelcome.

I am not compassionate enough to understand the needs of those around me.

I am not enduring enough to persevere through all these trials.

I am not fit enough to move my body in the races I want to run.

I am not smart enough to know my limits.

I am not skilled and knowledgeable enough to do the work I’m paid to do.

I’m just not enough.

In these struggles, feelings of failure, knowing my inadequacy and not-enoughness – Jesus calls me to find my rest in him.

Question: What makes life count?

I just want my people to see Jesus in me. I want my life to be one in which those who share in it know they are loved by Jesus. And that has to be enough. I hope that the people I disappoint won’t think less of Jesus because of my many failures to be like him.

Question: Where do I go when I fail?

I try to remember God and His great and precious promises. It’s hard. Life is hard. There is so much wrong within me and so much wrong around me.

I am so thankful to be surrounded by saints who point me to Jesus. Saints who love me graciously, persistently, patiently. Saints who strengthen my feeble knees and support my failing arms. Who help me in the places where I am inadequate and not enough. I’m thankful for those who pursue me when I want to withdraw into myself and have a pity party. Even if I seem annoyed, it’s good.

Love is freeing.

Faith is freeing.

Humility is freeing.

Ephesians 4:15…

[15] Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,

Love the people to whom I speak. Have faith that Jesus is working in me. Have confidence in Jesus’ words, that they are not mine and don’t depend on my credibility.

Jesus loves cracked pots.